Financial bullying can ruin a marriage: first-person stories

A survey of about 1,000 Americans found that one in 10 would describe their partner as a financial bully. Our readers, however, insist that that might be a label easily assigned to a partner who is simply being financially responsible.
When we put out a call to out readers last week to see if any of them had similar experiences, we found that many of you wouldn’t define the actions described as financial bullying. Instead, quite a number of you insisted that keeping track of your partner’s expenses was simply budgeting and being financially responsible.
Adam: “Having disagreements about spending in a relationship is hardly bullying, it is natural and unavoidable and has happened since the dawn of money.”
Rebecca: “I thought it was called teaching financial responsibility.”
Sean: “Families should work together to maintain a budget, often one spouse is more reckless than the other, that’s not bullying, that’s being responsible.”
Sarah: “Financial bullying?! Sharing a life together and a bank account means both parties get to be involved in spending decisions.”
Nicole: “My husband knows how much money I spend. From a certain amount, I always ask him, if he’s OK with it. I won’t call it ‘financial bullying’, I call it ‘living together’. Someone has to keep an eye on the family’s money.”
Simone:
A reader from Arkansas says she was financially bullied by her then-husband for years:
Even checking the accounts doesn’t stop financial ruin:
Chris:
Robal agreed:
A female reader living in New York wrote: